The Key to Keeping First Time Guests | Ep 28

Most churches focus on getting first-time guests in the room. But real growth happens when people come back.
If you want help building the systems and culture that keep people coming back, learn more about joining the RSG Mastermind here: https://www.readysetgrowchurch.com/pricing

In this episode, Scott, Hunter, and Mark break down how healthy churches create an environment where guests feel welcomed, known, and ready to take a next step. This is not about gimmicks, pressure, or complicated systems. It is about building a culture that helps people move from visiting to belonging.

They unpack the practical systems and relational habits that help churches keep first-time guests engaged long after Sunday is over—and why retention, not just attendance, is the real driver of growth.

If your church wants to grow, this is one of the most important systems to get right.
Because people come back where they feel seen, valued, and loved.

Timestamps:
00:00 The real goal isn’t attendance
00:45 Why people don’t come back (and what to fix)
02:00 How guests actually connect
02:45 The hidden advantage of smaller churches
05:10 Why people really come to church
08:30 Speaking directly to guest needs
11:20 Turning moments into real connection
14:30 What to do when a guest responds
17:00 The follow-up system that actually works
20:30 Why culture beats systems every time

If you have a question or topic you’d like us to tee up on a future episode, email us at hey@readysetgrowchurch.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Hey my friends, today's episode is going to be a little bit different than usual. We recently recorded a brand new five shifts training, and this is part of our new mastermind that we've got, and it's really focused on a few of the specific changes or what we call shifts that you as a leader, your church, is gonna need to break through some of the most common growth barriers. So instead of just keeping it inside the mastermind, we wanted to pull out a few of those conversations and share them with you here, and that's what you're gonna hear in this conversation to follow. If you want to go a little bit deeper on this, then you can find out more about the mastermind in the description below. All right, let's dive in. All right, so it's very likely that if you're attempting to reach your community, you're going to have some first-time guests. But the key is being able to connect them well to people and the process of serving them. How should we look at this?

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Well, I mean, the the whole objective here, right, is to not just have first-time guests, but to get them to come back. And the way to do that is it's not just like, hey, what can I do like a gimmick to get back? The biggest thing is how do they feel welcomed? Yeah. Do they feel like you were prepared and you wanted them there? Listen, that's the way I think. I'm thinking that if they are coming, they're trying to see, is this my new place? Is it a place I could fit in? And really they're trying to catch, do they even care? Yeah. And so I want to get them to come back a second time. I want to get them to come back a third time. I want to get back to where they move from. Hey, y'all got a nice church to, man, I love my church.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Yeah, and I think, you know, when we break this down to the fundamentals of this, we have to understand two big things that are very obvious to collect the information of when people want to make themselves known. How do we do that? Well, first off, how are people going to give you their information? And then number two is why would people give you their information?

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Especially in today's kind of culture, uh people are a little uh standoffish, a little elbow-ish on that.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

How many ads do you think that you watched yesterday that you ignored? Yeah. And what is your pitch from stays? It's another ad that they're used to. It's the 400th ad that they've heard that weekend, right? And so how is your ad, your pitch, going to be different? So let's let's break this down. So, first up is how will people give you their information? So this could be a ton of different things. Just really common ones are a QR code on the screen. Hey, scan this QR code, scan this QR code on a seat back in front of you. That's very common. Number three is there's a connect booth in our lobby. Uh, number four is there's a physical like guest card that they can fill out and turn it in in the offering bucket. I mean, there's a lot of different ways.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Whatever it is, you want it to be easy, frictionless, and you want it to be easy for the people in your church because remember, it's not just about digital connection. Yeah, it's about warm-bodied, we want to help them build relationships. Yeah. So it needs to be easy enough that your people that are on mission can help them.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Well, let's just say that because I I don't want to do a lot of caveats. The best chance you have is getting them connected to another relationship. Hopefully, somebody brought them and they're not coming by themselves. A lot of what we're about to talk about is let's just assume somebody did come by themselves. Yeah. What do you do? It's the net. It's the net to help. This is the net systems, but the number one thing you have, and especially the advantage of small churches, is we have people notice when new people come and we culturize that you know we win in the lobby, that we're not here to just huddle with our three buddies and put our backs to everybody that's new. That's right. We we are here to help people become a part of the family.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

So let's just let's just talk about this real quick. I had a pastor call me just a few weeks ago, and they're running a hundred people. And he says, I can't get anybody to fill out a visitor card. Yep, yeah. That was his his okay. I said, he said, I get what do you do now that visitors cards work? I said, I don't know. I don't work. I I I don't I don't know about that, that they don't work. He said, Well, they work for us. We can't get anybody to fill them out. I said, Well, tell me what you're doing. Well, I'm up there and I'm saying, here's our visitor cards. Give it, we'll give you some cookies and all this stuff. But here's the deal they're running a hundred people. And I said, Do you how how many people, how many visitors do you have? He said, Well, sometimes we'll have three. And I'll go, You don't know who they are? Oh, I can't. I do see them. I said, Well, I wouldn't be from the stage trying to get everybody to fill out a visit card. I'd get everybody in my church understanding those people are new. We all know they're new. I know they're new. Right when service is over, I'm going back to the city.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

They stand out, especially in a smaller church. The visitors, the guests are gonna stand out like a sore thumbs.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Here's what I was telling them this is your unique advantage. This is big churches have to create systems because they can't get to everybody and they don't even know all the new people. A smaller church, if you're if you're a church of a hundred, dude, I'm telling you right now, I'm all over it. I've already got people in the church. I'm telling you, hey, listen, we're gonna love people. We're not gonna be weird with them, but we're gonna recognize they're there and we're gonna go say hi. And if they sit down, we're not gonna scene without making them feel weird. You know what I'm gonna make it like? Somebody's coming over to my house and I'm having a family meeting with you guys when y'all were kids and going like, hey, we're gonna be nice to these people, we're gonna talk to these people, we're gonna get everything ready, go clean your room. And so we're gonna clean the house, we're gonna give it, and then we're gonna get everybody in the family focused on we're gonna love on these people when they come. And then I'm gonna lead the way on that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah, and I think there's a big difference between uh looking at these people from what can I get from them versus what can I give to them. Yeah, and that's the giving mindset, not the getting mindset.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

That's exactly right. And that's that kind of brings us into this idea of why would they give their information together?

SPEAKER_01 5:44

We talked about that. We talked about how people will get their information, that's a QR code, whatever. That's the action, and you want to make it frictionless. So, like if you want me to fill out uh if there's a staple on the pieces of paper that I have to fill out, because I have to fill out 30 forms like I'm at a doctor's office, that's not frictionless. Make it as few information as possible to fill out, just say, hey, I'm new and I just want to make myself known. Yeah. Second thing is why would people give their information? Like, what's the hook? What's in it for me?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

I think there's some there's some common reasons. You know, number one, sometimes people are gonna come to church because they have been broken. Yeah. Life is broken them, they're in a divorce, yeah. Something's going on in their family, they're facing an addiction, yeah. There's a health issue, but they're going, hey, I don't know about this church thing, uh, but maybe, maybe church could help me. Maybe God could help me because I'm busted up.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Another one that's really common is my kids need this. So maybe they're not even coming for them right now. They're just saying, like, dude, I have kids and they like know things now.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Like, well, they see they see how uh oftentimes kids are in a they're in a rudderless world and they're going, hey, we gotta we've got to get a rudder here. We gotta get something built.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

We need to get a little bit of Jesus in the family.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

That's yeah, yeah, 100%. My kids in trouble. I'm concerned. So the the chief reason is like parenting is the motivation, parenting's the catalyst.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Other people are are lonely. In fact, I just met a couple um just a couple of weeks ago uh at service, and they've been here about a year and a half, and I said, Well, uh, you know, uh, how are you guys doing making friends? They said, We have no friends. Yeah, they're a vibrant couple, they've been in this town for a year and a half and they have no friends. Yeah, and they're showing up going, Hey, maybe this is the place we could find friends because we don't have any.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Well, yeah, I mean, like, friendship is most people are trained that friendship comes to you because you have it in school and you have it with forced proximity, like even in college, right? But after college, adult friendships are so hard because you're like, Well, why aren't they coming to me? You have to do that intentionally, right? And and people don't really know how to do that, and so they can go years without being friendship. That's really scary. And then I think sometimes people are just ashamed. I think so. I think there's a lot of reasons why people come back to church where they're just like, dude, I'm like falling apart here, and like I've done something I'm not proud of, and church taught me, I've heard of grace. I know, like, I know there's probably grace for you, but like I don't I don't know if there is for me. I just need to know, I need to figure this out. Yeah, uh, I think a shame is a big one. Um, I also think that probably the best reason is and probably the chief reason why people come is somebody invited them.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

That's it. Someone has invited them into their life and lifestyle, so they're getting to know, like, and trust a family, uh, someone in their neighborhood, someone at work. And over the course of time, there's been an invite and and they show up.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah, number six is they're searching for meaning, so they're searching for purpose. And number seven is their marriage is in trouble. And it's like, dude, I need like a Hail Mary. Like, I need something.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

A lot of times that can be like the wife's been trying to get him to come to church and she just goes, I'm going without you, or hey, the ultimate. I think our marriage is over, and he goes, Well, I'll start going to church with you. Yeah, it's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Why we do that. Yeah. So so these common reasons, we want to use them. They, if this is a catalyst for coming back, maybe we should help them to understand that we understand where they're coming to the city.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Yeah, these are books in the and so every single week you want to have a general script that is inviting people to share their information. Yeah. And so what we've just shared are seven common hooks reasons why people might be showing up to church. So it would be something similar to this. Hey, we're so glad that you guys are here today, and there's any number of reasons why you're here. Maybe you're in a crisis mode and you're just going, maybe God can help. Maybe something's going on with your family or your kids, or you're just lonely. Let me just tell you this. Regardless of why you showed up here today, we want you to know when you're ready, we're ready to make a connection. Yeah. In the seat pocket in front of you, Sicard. And then you can just talk about the logistics of that.

SPEAKER_02 9:39

We're glad you're here, and we just want to help you. That's it. Any way we can help you, let us know. And the best way to do that is we want to start a conversation, a relationship with you. We're not going to spam you, we're not going to do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Just, yeah. So that's a good general one. And again, I don't want to confuse this. Is a lot of stuff that we're putting into place that are principles that can scale with you over time. So that's what we're emphasizing. But again, if people, if these are the most common reasons, and you're actually meeting people relationally, one-to-one, hand-to-hand combat, and people are on your team, the dream team, and they know if they say something like this, here's what we have for people that are facing stuff like this.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

You're resourcing, you're resourcing the people on mission to fulfill the mission.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

I hope everybody's getting this right now. Is we're talking about you got to get the information, but really what it is, you got to have the relationship. So the focus here isn't about, oh man, we scored, we got the card. It's no, man, we scored, we connected with them. Yeah. 100%. And so whether that means you don't even get their phone number till three weeks, four weeks, or whenever they choose to give it to you, they've interacted with people at the door. They've interacted with people who sat by them that were kind. Yeah. They interacted with people who prayed with them or said before the message. And you do that until they come to the point that says, hey, I'm ready to be known in this way.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Yeah, 100%. And I think sometimes, like, so there's the general script that Mark talked about from stage. I like even from stage sometimes to even go deep on one thing instead of like the shotgun, we go like sniper and we hit it hard. So uh I did one for uh Life Broke Them as a crisis as a catalyst. Here's what I would say something like this Hey man, if you're here because something fell apart, marriage, job, your health, your faith, I just want you to know you're not alone. This is a room full of people who've been exactly where you are. In a few minutes, our worship team is gonna lead us, and while they do, our prayer team is gonna be up front and they'd love to meet you. We do this every single week as a church, and you'll see uh a lot of people are gonna come down front. But I just want to encourage someone, if you're new here and you're carrying something, I want to invite you to walk up during the the worship portion of our service. Find somebody on our prayer team and tell them your name and let them know, like, hey man, I'm like uh new here. I don't really know how this prayer thing works. Uh I got this situation. Yeah, just tell them that's what they want to pray with you, right? That's it. There's no pressure. Uh, you're not gonna freak anybody out on the prayer team with your problem. That's all of us. So the prayer team is just uh someone who wants to know your name and stand with you for a minute.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Yeah, and the cool thing about that is you've already prepared and resourced the prayer team people. I dude, anybody that's on mission, you've got to be resourcing them. And it's not that hard, it's just part of the discipleship process. That way, when the new person shows up, yeah, they're ready. Hey, Bob, man, it was great praying with you. Uh hey, could I get your number real quick? Because, man, I just want to follow up and and see how things are going this week around that topic.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

If somebody is coming with a crisis, uh, which people do all the time, every single week, you know what they want? They want somebody to pray with them. Because can somebody that's holy pray for me? Because I am a savior.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

It could even be not just can you give me your number at the altar? It may be weird. It could be that our guys are already having would they have a card or written down. Hey, I wrote my number down because I always do that because sometimes there's something here that needs to be. I want you to know we have a place for your kids. We just pray for that and we do it. Here's my number, call me after service or text me and I will get that for you.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

It could even be like I want to keep following up and keep praying for you. Hey, my wife has cancer. It's like, dude, I'm gonna be praying for you. Please let me know what's happening. Let her know. Here's my number. Here's my number. Yeah, you're looking for a connection point. I'll do another one. My my kids need this. This is a big one. So here's what I would say from stage if I'm gonna emphasize sniper rifle right here. Hey, maybe you grew up in church and just strick it, like life happened, right? Maybe you didn't grow up in church at all, but now you have kids and you're thinking, what do I actually want them to believe? Like what kind of values do I want them to have? Well, we have a community of parents that are asking that exact question. If that's you, I want you to just do one thing today before you leave. Find somebody on our team in the lobby and just say, Hey, I have kids and uh I need some help, right? That's it. We'd love to introduce you to some families, tell you about uh the small groups that we have with parents in the exact same season of life as you, and you can decide if this is the right fit for you. No pressure, just parents trying to figure it out together. Yeah, great.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

And if you did that at the guest time or like when you're talking about, hey, we're so glad you're here today. And by the way, I just want I was talking to some people about their kids, all that. If you're here today and this is a deal to you, why don't you just put it in there? But I got kids, and we want to help you to know the opportunities we have to come alongside of you now.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Yeah, I think the big principle here is I think when it comes to identifying first-time guests, there's a lot of churches that are treating it like hide and seek. Like Yeah, like I found you. I found you, and dude, honestly, if people want to be hidden, let them be hidden. Let them be anonymous. What you're trying to do is set up an environment. That's what I'm trying to say. Is like it is set up an environment where it's easy and obvious to make themselves known and then say, we're ready when you're ready. If you want to stay hidden, stay hidden. If you want to keep checking us out, check us out. But we just want to let you know if you want to make yourself known, you can belong here and we want to introduce you to people in some.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Yeah, so there's a couple of things we want to do uh when someone makes themselves known. One of the first things we want to do is set up a nurture email campaign, a way of communicating to them. So I filled out a card.

SPEAKER_01 15:07

Basically, after they've made themselves known.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

What do you do? Hey, I just wanted you to know I'm here. I filled this thing out, follow this QR code.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Yeah, well, the moment they do that, you better be uh aware of what your plan is to do something, because they're basically saying, hey, uh I want in if you want me in. If you want me. If you want me, I'm in. That's what they're saying with that card totally. It's a vulnerable moment. Uh it's a vulnerable moment. And so if you drop the ball or if it's just a form letter they get or something, then they're going like, okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

They start making up in their mind, ooh, they didn't, they figured out they don't want me or they lied. Or it's not that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Or like, hey, I'm gonna have to make my way in this and force my way in or whatever. I gotta pay my dues. And yet what we want to say is no, no, no, you're already family before it, no matter what, you're already in, and we want to show that. So you want to make sure you have an email campaign. You also have perhaps, okay, on the first week we're gonna give a call or we're gonna give a text.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah, I mean, you did this when we were even in hundreds and thousands, but what what's the very first step?

SPEAKER_02 16:07

I did it when we were small, I did it when we were big, I did it all the time. Is I'm going, how can I figure out a way to connect with them? First of all, I made myself available out in the uh for your or out in there after right at and at the end of the message when we were about to go, I'd say, hey, I'm about to head out uh to the lobby. If you're new today, I would love to shake your hand, meet you, say hi to you. If I haven't had a chance to meet you, please come out and say I'd do that every week. Yep. And then I would go out there. And uh the but but what I would do is right after service, they would have all of the the uh numbers, all the cards, and they would bring it back. And you can do this a couple of ways. When you're when you're smaller, when I only had four or five, I'd make it personal. What I would do is do a video on my phone. Say it's Bob and Sarah, okay? Say, hey Bob and Sarah, this is Pastor Scott. Just so glad you were here today. First time that was such a big deal. So glad you were here. Uh and I've got the same, I mean it's right after service, right?

SPEAKER_00 17:02

So it was great talking with y'all. And I know little Bobby is gonna do great in our free middle class. Yeah, if you do.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

I hope you come back next week. If you do, please. I always am out in the liver. I would love to meet your family. Come back. I'd love to connect with you if you get a chance. Hey, and by the way, uh give me a call or text if you need anything. Uh this is my number. Yeah, this is it. Yeah, like that. So, and I did it, I personally did it where it was my phone because I didn't care. I wanted them to connect.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

And I I I just want to say, we did this when we were a couple of hundred, we did this when we were thousands. It's kind of crazy thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Because we would have sometimes, you know, like when as it got larger, there may be 50 or 60. So you do 50 or 60? Maybe. Most of the time when it got to be like that, I did one video that was generic. It wasn't, hey, Bobin's here to say, hey man, I'm so glad you guys were here today. Uh, thank you for being here. And it was your first time.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

And if I didn't meet you, if I did, great, uh you know, or whatever. The emphasis and basically the call to action. One is, hey, I want you to know that we saw you and you've made yourself known and we're so glad. But the big thing is, if you come back next week, I'd love to meet you.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

Yeah, because that's how I knew they came back a second time. Yeah. If they didn't have kids, if they checked in again with their kids, then we would know they were there. If they gave an offering, you know, which is a lot of times new people are doing, then we would know they were there. But the only other way is if they came back, because we're not saying, hey, if it's your second time here, fill something out. So the way we would know second time is they would come back and say hi to me, you know, like that.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

There's not a lot of systems for this besides the kid check-in. So if they don't have a kid that's getting checked in, it's not like we're tracking devices of like, ooh, this iPhone number 14 came back. So they have to make themselves known in some way. And you and some.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

So think about this. They're coming to the church and saying, Can I fit here? Do they care? Is this something that I can connect with? Yeah. A lot of times they're going, is this also a church that I can connect with the pastor? You know, can I connect with him personally? Or is, you know, or is it just going to be the guy who teaches up front or whatever? So when I'm doing it, they hadn't even gotten home yet, or they just got home, sat down to lunch, or whatever, and they get this video text from me saying, Hey, I'm so glad you guys were here today. I please come back next week, connect with me in the lobby. You know, I want to talk to you, I want to get to know you. If we can help you some way, that's a pretty big deal.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

That's day one, and then we start the 30-day sequence after that.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

So then the key is after that, that's the kickoff, basically. But then there would also be a sequence of emails.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

And we gave you some resources of ideas that you can uh use and copy and paste for your email if you want to do that.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

And and by the way, you have the email campaign that's the general to everybody campaign that's coming to them. That and you can see the sequence there. But if they had kids, then the kids ministry is following up.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

If they had young people, you're just saying multiple tributaries of communication and connection depending on uh who their family is. Okay, so let's talk about activation, then I want you to share a final thought here. Okay. So remember, as you're moving forward on this, you make it simple for yourself, okay? And do the things that you can do, especially if you're a little bit smaller. Do the things you can do until you can't do them and you have to build these, you know, extravagant systems. So, number one, determine how you will get their information. How are they going to share that information to you? What is it going to be a QR code? Is it going to be a card? How are they going to get uh their information? Secondly, determine why. Okay, so you should have a good understanding about the nuances of your context and the unique uh community that you're in. So, what are the hooks? What are the reasons why someone would say, Hey, I'm in, and determine that, and then start messaging and practicing that message. Third, thirdly, schedule your 30-day follow-on sequence. It's so important for you to have something to continue to stay uh communicating to them. Remember, even when the 30-day sequence is done, if they've connected relationally, which again is the number one way for people to get connected to your church and to Jesus, even when the 30-day sequence is done, they have someone who feels responsible for them. Final thought on this.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Yeah, well, I think the final thought for me is don't just think, oh man, we're gonna get great systems. Systems don't do anything if you don't have the heart. So you gotta have the heart. So if if I I'm just telling you the greatest advantage you have as a church running 100, 200, 300, that is you know everybody that's there. Number two, so you know who's new. Okay, that's an advantage. Number two is this is your opportunity to disciple and shape the culture of the house. How do you do it? You lead the way. Yeah, secondly, this is me. Okay, look, I'm being a straight if I'm pastoring a church right now of 100, I'll tell you what I do. I get the two to three families in that church who love me and connect with me the most and who will who hungry to grow and to learn. And I'm gonna teach them how to love people like Jesus loves them. Yeah, I'm gonna teach them how to be uh kind, not weird, but to Be uh intentional and go first. Don't wait, man, they didn't come to me. No, you go to them. And so I'm gonna get them set up and then we'll add another person in. So with those people, if I've got three influencers doing that, and hey, this is your section, this is your section. If somebody sits here, they're your people, you got to own your zone type thing. Yep, man, we're gonna take that thing. Hey, I will pay for y'all's lunch if you take them out. I will everybody don't think, well, I don't have the money. Take them out on us. Hey, hey, would you go afterwards? Don't say the church is gonna pay for it. Just say, hey, I'd love to take you guys out, okay? Or hey, I'd love to have coffee with you this week. Whatever it is. We're gonna go and we're gonna do it with our heart and we're gonna create a culture. You have an advantage.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

You don't have to be at scale. You can do it with your heart right there and build the culture and be we are the most loving, kind, Jesus-centered, heart for people church that there ever was. Because that's not just about I'm trying to be better in another church. I'm trying to be a light in the darkness of this world. I'm trying to be the place of love where everything else is selfish, it is it's harsh. You can come here and you can be known and be loved, and you can be part of the family.